A Basset is an Asset!

Somebody somewhere wrote a song called "A basset is an asset", you really should look it up on You Tube if you have never heard this cute little ditty before. As time seems to tick on I am beginning to think that there must be some kind of a conspiracy going on here. I have had bassets in my life for about 6 years now, and sometimes feel like perhaps I have been tricked into this "asset" business.
Don't get me wrong, I love, even adore my bassets. Really can not imagine my life without them in it. The love and entertainment that I get from them is astounding. When I have been sick and they tend to dote on me all day, not making a huge fuss, but hanging close none the less. The stillness and quietness that overcomes them when I am sad and crying, the way that they just lay there and let me softly stroke their fur and sob, knowing that the next day no one will even know that I was crying and that my troubles will not be the latest gossip to go around in the circle of friends. They force me to drag my old behind out of the house in the evening for a walk, otherwise known in my house as a "doo dee dooo" courtesy of my best friend with 2 beagles that is also not allowed to use the "w" word in her house. She coined the "d" word a year ago at least and I have recently stole it. I never throw left overs in the garbage, even empty chip bags are carefully licked in my house, nary a crumb on my floor, and if I take a little stroll outside before washing the table after a meal, there also won't be a crumb on the table. Now that's convenient! The other side of my queen size bed is never empty, even when hubby works out of town, or gets up at 3:30 in the morning. There is always somebody on the other side of the bed when I open my eyes in the morning, it isn't always a pretty sight, sometimes it might be basset belly, basset teeth, or the worst and most popular of them all the basset butt. I have learned not to leave a plate around with food on it to eat later, cause the plate is still there but nice and shiny clean, so I suppose that they are also kind of like a diet, eating the food that they "know" you shouldn't for the good of your health and waist size. So yes, I suppose that in many ways a basset is an asset. Not to most, but to a trained basset lover all of these could be good qualities, bassets have perhaps "trained" us into thinking that these are good qualities.
But, all in the same breath sometimes these two characters of mine are enough to make me bonkers and wonder what exactly I was thinking when I got that first basset, let alone the 2 that have followed him. Double for the fact that 2 at once is its very own set of challenges that I never even really thought of. Now seeing as I so lovely listed how a basset "could" be an asset, I am going to offer my own rebuttal, so to speak. I am going to begin with the telephone, bassets and phones really do not mix, in more ways then one. Our phone company has an answering service like most do, but it seems to pick up way too soon. On about the third ring, to be precise, now in my house when it rings if I am in the far end of the house I often kinda jog to the phone because I want to talk on the portable phone because I generally know who is calling and I know that it will most likely be a lengthy conversation. So now in my house it is not just me making that dash to the phone the bassets do it as well. Even before I begin my jog they are heading that way, trotting kinda sideways, UNDER my feet, tails gaily wagging, knowing that they are going to trip me on the way there and that I am most likely gonna miss that last ring and then rough house with them for getting in my way. So I suppose that like the dog that drooled when the bell rang, mine think its tackle mom time when the phone rings. If by the lucky chance that I am prepared for the phone to ring, or make it before the machine picks it up the dogs take that as "wow its wrestle time". If I go to the sun room to talk the dogs wrestle there, generally right under my chair, when I try to sneak off into the living room they catch me and follow only to wrestle in front of where ever I am. Did I mention how noisy they wrestle??? Cause its loud, so sometimes I sneak outside, well that doesn't work either because then they sit at the other side of the door and howl their faces off because I didn't take them. Secretly I think that it is because they know that I am sitting on a lawn chair and they just want to wrestle under it. Another example of the "non assetness" would be TOILET PAPER and that is all I am going to say on that subject, there are too many stories, and too much money tossed into the trash to go into details. How about hair and poop, how do you even get into the amount of each of these, we tend to forget that bassets are "big" dogs on little legs, well we all know that big dogs don't have little poops..... The hair is always around, white and black clothes are out of the picture, basset owners live in an array of colours, especially grey, and denim, the hair doesn't seem to stick as much to jeans. Gotta admit though it does make me giggle sometimes seeing that "tumbleweed" roll out from under the bed when I open the window. There is also the barking and the drooling. Hoover isn't really a big barker, (thank goodness) but Odie is, he just seems to love the sound of his own voice. He however is a little drier lipped, Hoover is my drooly hound, the one who splatters walls, the TV, clothes, the car, your face, even the ceiling on the odd occasion. He also likes to not quite finish drinking his water before walking away from the bowl, leaving a nice slippery tail for about 6 feet from the bowl, so nice to step into.
So yes, deep down I think that somewhere out there is a really smart basset who wrote that song and paid some bar singer to sing and record it. Bassets everywhere are laughing behind our backs knowing that they have brainwashed everyone into thinking that they are super dogs. But to be honest, I really don't mind, I know that people are hating on me everywhere cause they are jealous that I have the best breed of dog out there. Especially Labrador people, I mean seriously, what is wrong with those dogs? More so, what the heck seems to be wrong with their owners? How the heck did they land the number one breed, for most popular and hold the position for so long when my breed is so superior compared to them numb skulls? They can keep their number one position though, because an abundance of labs are destroyed everyday in North America. Our bassets and the people that love them are a community working together to save the breed from being put to death in shelters. With that I will end with the motto once again that perhaps that yes "A basset is an asset" but PLEASE remember just as important "Adopt, don't shop". There are many basset rescue organizations across Canada and the United States, contact one if you are thinking about a basset or would like to make a donation to a worthwhile charity.